You Have a Problem

Hello and welcome to "You Have a Problem". The problem I will talk about today, will be very disturbing, as it is not a mechanical problem that is ruining our lives, or even those nefarious polar bears. The problem I am talking about today, could be because of YOU! The information that I have today, may or may not be true, I myself am not sure. Either way, I come to warn you of the possible dangers.

Everyone knows of organizations like the CIA, or FBI, but do you know of the SSS (no I do not mean side, side side Peter or Jasmine). The SSS is the Secret Society of Students. From what I have heard, it is being led by a man named Patrick Suanda. This could be just a rumor and something made up by some kids in class, or it could be a dark society with even darker goals. The SSS is said to try and destroy the toast industry. I think that one of their plans is to take over the schools. Now as most of you know, or hopefully know, most teachers have part time jobs. Particularly "toasters". Teachers are not paid much, so they need another source of income and an easy job is a toaster. There job is simple, put bread in toaster, take toast out, send it on for butter, or honey. There are also professional toasters, and they are good, at what they do. They are timed and have to do everything precisely. They have 15 toasters to work. They have to take out toast, put it on a plate, and put two new pieces of bread in the toaster and move onto the next within four seconds. These toasters, are very high end, and it takes precisely one minute to toast the bread, so the toaster make 30 pieces of toast a minute. To become a professional toaster, first of all, you have to go through four years of college! Isn't that crazy? Now I am not saying that all teacher are professional toasters, but some are, and many others have lower level toast jobs. One thing the SSS might be planning to do, is to capture all of the teachers. It might be at Hillcrest, somewhere else, or not even happen at all, but I must warn you. The SSS would somehow give a signal to the member, like a bell or something, and the members would charge. They would tie up all of the teachers, and if this happened, it would hurt the toast industry. It might not make a big difference with one school, but imagine if this got state wide, or bigger. This could be a catastrophe waiting to happen. We have a couple options, either train all teachers to hold off up to 30 kids, find and stop the possible SSS, or just sit there and watch it happen, because you don't care about toast. This may or may not be true, but I must warn you either way. I wish us all the best of luck.

Aninimous