You Have a Problem

Hello, Aninimous here with the first installment of You Have a Problem.

This column is about possible situations and the affect (or effect) on the world, and the toast industry. Everything here is Factual information from reliable sources (or at least as reliable as a pair of monkeys can be).

Here in Hillcrest Jr. High there is a problem. (See look at the name.) As I was told the fire alarms don't sound in the auditorium. My informant (Peter) said that in the school play last year someone pulled the fire alarm, and the people in the auditorium did not hear it. This is a crisis that must be addressed immediately! For example if the school was having an assembly, and there was a fire and the people did not hear the alarm and word did not get to them fast enough, the school could and would likely burn down. If this happened, the fire could spread across the city and soon the whole city would be on fire. The fire would eventually burn down the whole city. As everyone knows, Murray is the leading toast producer in 5 out of 7 continents (only outmatched by Australia and Antartica, don't ask me how.) this would hurt much of the economy, not mentioning as bad as it is now, this would run the butter and margarine companies dry (that is a pun, because they are kinda already are dry... you know... just forget what I said.). This would in turn lead to complete world disaster and then the polar bears... well we'll save that for another day. You see the smallest problem can lead to the largest disasters. I hope you all enjoyed my enthralling column.

Aninimous