Lucky 13

Ah yes. As my column runs on Wednesdays, I have successfully avoided the massive rush of people desperately trying to post for the assignment. Therefore it is now my privilege to address all those who are desperately commenting for the assignment. To get up to date, read the following special announcement:

http://honors9th.blogspot.com/2010/10/special-announcement.html

As a general rule, the popular posts, to the right, are the best. (Jasmine's Multiple Names is there because of the comments, not the post itself.) If you read the most popular post (I am honored to be the writer of it.) you will understand the rest of the article. (That article about indecision is what I consider to be my best article yet, by the way.)

Our winner is:

Jasmine Crespo, our only entrant (again)

Here is her story:

(I forgot to get commentary from her, so I will write some of my commentary)

YROTS GNIVIGSKNAHT
Jasmine Crespo
Once upon a time, in a land- not so far away there was a nerd. Now this nerd was happy. His name was Yrots Gnivigsknaht. ( Ya-ROT-s) (Ni-VE-gets-ka-hat) The kids in town used to taunt and tease him and so every day he ran home crying. His mother once told him that every Thanksgiving; a magical Turkey comes and grants one wish to the child with the most faith in him. “That sounds a lot like the Great Pumpkin on Charlie Brown Mom…” Yrots said “Shut up and eat your dinner Yrots.” His mother responded begrudgingly. So, even though his mother probably just said that to make him feel better, he still believed. The next month was then November and Yrots was ecstatic. He woke up to his Twilight calendar one day and discovered that it was the 26th! He jumped with joy and ran to the kitchen to tell his mother that it was thanksgiving. He found his mother and started relating to her what he was going to do this Thanksgiving Day. Then at the end of his outburst he asked his mom, “So what are we going to do today since it’s Thanksgiving?” his mom then burst into an uncontrollable laughter and said, “Son, did by chance look at your Twilight calendar from last year?” “Yes..” Yrots replied “Yrots,” his mother explained. “Thanksgiving is always the third Thursday of November. You were looking at last year’s calendar. Thanksgiving was yesterday honey.” Yrots stood in complete and utter shock, even though he was questioning why all his relatives had come over yesterday and he had passed out to a turkey coma. “Y-y- yesterday?” he stuttered. He then started screaming and ran out to the pumpkin patch outside. “WHY??” he screamed into the air. Just then a girl his age walked by him and shouted, “Because you’re an idiot!!” To end the story, Yrots waited until the next year when Thanksgiving was going to be on the 24th of November. And to his surprise, the Magical Turkey did exist, well at least the brand of turkey he ate at thanksgiving. The happy ending was his middle name was Bob and it took him a while to realize he could go by that instead and Bob lived happily ever after. The end.

Ah, another story about a poor nerd who falls into the clutches of a false reality. Poor Bob; his mother doesn't even realize that Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday in November, not the third. She can't even count to four, and yet she is so devious to make her son believe in a magical turkey that doesn't exist. It seems the only person in this story with any sense at all is the observant girl who recognizes just exactly what Bob is.

I'm sorry if my review offends you Jasmine. It was a good story!

Peter Rosen

P.S. I am no longer stuck in Caps Lock.