Lucky 13

I'm kind of pressed for time, so I'll make this brief. First things first, I read Jasmine's article, and discovered that I need less superficial content in mine, but then I would have nothing left. Therefore, I am trying to add some worthwhile content. Um...A man is only as wise as his...uh...wisdom. TAKE THAT SUPERFICIAL CONTENT!

And our winner for our Competition is:

The only entrant: Jasmine Crespo!

Her story is below.

“There she goes.” Jake whispered tenderly as Rachel passed by. “She’s going to win the costume competition for sure…” “Coincidence? I think not!” Dr.Thebes stated boldly. “She is a witch! And not the good type of witch either…” “Wait, which witch? Which witch is the witch whom I want to pick as the winner? Does anyone know which witch it is? Egad! She must have put a spell on me that wicked witch!” Ms.Julia screeched. “No Ms.Julia that was just the poison, nothing to worry about. Well unless you consider dying a worrisome subject. On the other hand, you’ll make one heck of a zombie!” Katie said as she unsuccessfully tried to console Ms.Julia. The panicked Ms.Julia ran to Dr. Thebes for advice. “Dr. Thebes!” She said as he shot into the air in astonishment, “Dr Thebes! You must help me! Rachel poisoned me!” “Have you any idea how Rachel poisoned you Ma’am?” Dr. Thebes interjected. “Uh… how do you mean?” “HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING WOMAN!” Dr. Thebes fumed. Ms. Julia’s face lit up in recognition. “Yes…no?... does water count as eating?” “YES!!” “Well then yes, but I don’t think the water was poisoned, it tasted a little funny but I mean all water tastes funny right? And I have this weird thing with my sinuses so that everything tastes weird and- Dr Thebes?” As Ms.Julia was saying this Dr. Thebes was slowly counting down the seconds until Ms. Julia would drop to the floor and stop her incessant ranting.

The Weekly Brief: Potatoes

I am terribly sorry everyone, as in Jasmine, Peter and Aninimous. I had a hectic day yesterday and forgot to post my article. Jasmine, I told you to remind me! So here it is:

Potatoes. Potatoes are a daily thing in my life, but I'm not so sure if they are in yours. If they aren't, they should be. They are a nutritious and delicious vegetable, they are a vegetable right? There are so many ways to cook them, red potatoes with parsley and garlic, mashed potatoes with gravy, baked potatoes with sour cream, the options are endless! But of course I'm not here to tell you the different recipes for potatoes. That would be a cooking show, and cooking shows are not entertaining. I am merely here to tell you how wonderful potatoes are and how we should all eat potatoes every day. Well, I've guess I've said it now. Join Jasmine, Peter, Aninimous, and I the rest of the week for random articles that no one will read! Yay potatoes!

Taylor T.

26 Ways to Fail

26 Ways to Fail- Letter A

As you can plainly see, this has nothing to do with the novel "26 Ways to Fail"... though this may seem ridiculous that I name another thing of mine the same, I think that it is ridiculous that you even think that I can think of another name to be thought of when all I was thinking about was how I lost my train of thought. As someone didn't know what this was going to be about, (neither did I) this is all new. 26 ways to fail translates into the alphabet. True I know the traditional alphabet and not the one 3 certain people made up in the middle of Algebra in 7th grade but it still makes sense... sort of. And to make sure this makes as least most sense as possible, I'm going to start with the lovely letter A. (The was not alliteration)
A-Article writing!
As this "very creative" title entails this entry will be about the captivating world of article writing. (This is where you applaud) If you haven't applauded yet, I suggest that you write an article, burn it, then applaud the ashes. If that seems odd, it is because it is.
Ah, article writing... what a wondrous topic. Here are the 7 ways to fail on this topic. Thanks to http://ezinearticles.com/?Article-Writing-Mistakes---7-To-Avoid&id=7709 for this insightful information.
Article Mistake #1 Too many grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors.
Article Mistake #2 Too much hype, bragging, and self-promotion.
Article Mistake #3 Content cased on what you need to learn, not what you reader needs.
Article Mistake #4 Making you article broad or superficial in content.
Article Mistake #5 Headline and article summary does not grab readers' attention.
Article Mistake #6 Plagiarizing or 'buying articles'...
Article Mistake #7 Don't burn out the RESOURCE BOX by overloading it
Most of these things we have learned in class so... hopefully you recognized them. Otherwise, all hope for humanity is lost. This is 26 Ways to Fail so if you wish to do so, make all the mistakes above. I will not show an example because I fear that it will sound too familiar.
If this is confusing, then I have done my job. The few people who will actually read this- Good Job!

Jasmine Crespo

Lucky 13

As it said in the special announcement, I am now running a "column" on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Here is my official disclaimer: This column may or may not contain anything of real value. However, if it does contain anything of real value, it was not intentional and I apologize. I will try to fix it as soon as possible. Now that we've got that over with I can continue with my article for today.

Today's topic is leprechauns. The following was written by myself some time ago, but it fits nicely with the theme-or lack of theme-of my column. Enjoy!


'Leprechauns' isn't a very "smart" word. The person who created it obviously doesn't have a grasp of the English language. I mean, they expect you to get a 'k' sound out of 'C-H'. And besides, they decided to be all fancy with the 'A-U' instead of just an 'O'. What's with the 'E' instead of an 'I'? It should be spelled 'Leprikons'. L-E-P-R-I-K-O-N-S. But no, instead they decide to spell it Lep-re-chauns. What's with 'instead' anyway. Instead should be spelled I-N-S-T-E-D. What's with 'should'? 'Should' should be spelled S-H-O-O-D. And 'what' isn't the greatest word either. W-U-T. So is 'either'. E-E-T-H-E-R. Is it really that hard to write a word that's right? 'Right' is bad too. What is R-I-G-H-T supposed to mean?


As you can see, I was enjoying myself a bit too much that day. That was written two days and nine months ago, by the way. I hope all five of you enjoyed today's article!

I am pleased to inform you that I am doing something random. It is also a competition, and it has no apparent reason at all. Therefore, I am having the first ever Random-Competition-For-No-Apparent-Reason-At-All Competition! If you wish to enter, simply write a 250 word or less Halloween story. The winner's story will be published in my next article!

Peter Rosen

Special Announcement

In an attempt to make it look as if the class is blogging, a few students are running "columns" regularly. This is the official announcement for these for columns.

On Mondays and Thursdays, Jasmine Crespo's 26 Ways to Fail will run.

On Tuesdays You Have a Problem by Aninimous will run (yes, it's spelled wrong on purpose). This column will discuss your problems and how they affect the world and possibly the toast industry (but probably not).

On Wednesdays and Saturdays, Lucky 13 by Peter Rosen will run. This will talk about random topics that have nothing to do with anything.

On Fridays, Taylor Tomlinson's thus far unnamed column will run.

We hope all our readers will enjoy these, all five of you!

Random Stuff

I highly suggest going to the following link and reading all thirty-three comments. Yes, it's confusing, but it sure is fun.

http://www.honors9th.blogspot.com/2010/01/jasmines-multiple-names.html

I am inclined to point out that at the end, Jasmine uses the word 'sincerely'. Ask her about the significance of this.

Peter Rosen

More Demon's Eye Stuff by Peter Rosen

"Incredible," whispered the Hunter. He took the arrows. "I wonder how well they work." He walked halfway down the street before stopping abruptly. "I almost forgot," he called, not turning around.
"Forgot what?" The arrow seemed to come out of nowhere, piercing the old man's leg. "You missed," he said triumphantly.
"I did?" the Hunter replied. Very deliberately he once again turned his back on the messenger. There was a scream and a flash of lightning. The Hunter smiled. "So they do work after all."
"I'm coming for you James, I'm coming for you," he hissed as he strode off into the darkness.

A little bit of clarification: The messenger and old man are the same person. The arrows cause the target to be struck by lightning. The Hunter is also on a quest for revenge. He has been killing off everyone that caused him to suffer, and he has only two...uh...one left. And yes, he does turn around when he shoots the arrow.