As it said in the special announcement, I am now running a "column" on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Here is my official disclaimer: This column may or may not contain anything of real value. However, if it does contain anything of real value, it was not intentional and I apologize. I will try to fix it as soon as possible. Now that we've got that over with I can continue with my article for today.
Today's topic is leprechauns. The following was written by myself some time ago, but it fits nicely with the theme-or lack of theme-of my column. Enjoy!
'Leprechauns' isn't a very "smart" word. The person who created it obviously doesn't have a grasp of the English language. I mean, they expect you to get a 'k' sound out of 'C-H'. And besides, they decided to be all fancy with the 'A-U' instead of just an 'O'. What's with the 'E' instead of an 'I'? It should be spelled 'Leprikons'. L-E-P-R-I-K-O-N-S. But no, instead they decide to spell it Lep-re-chauns. What's with 'instead' anyway. Instead should be spelled I-N-S-T-E-D. What's with 'should'? 'Should' should be spelled S-H-O-O-D. And 'what' isn't the greatest word either. W-U-T. So is 'either'. E-E-T-H-E-R. Is it really that hard to write a word that's right? 'Right' is bad too. What is R-I-G-H-T supposed to mean?
As you can see, I was enjoying myself a bit too much that day. That was written two days and nine months ago, by the way. I hope all five of you enjoyed today's article!
I am pleased to inform you that I am doing something random. It is also a competition, and it has no apparent reason at all. Therefore, I am having the first ever Random-Competition-For-No-Apparent-Reason-At-All Competition! If you wish to enter, simply write a 250 word or less Halloween story. The winner's story will be published in my next article!
Peter Rosen
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I accept this challenge! Also because I'm the only one to know of it so far...
ReplyDelete“There she goes.” Jake whispered tenderly as Rachel passed by. “She’s going to win the costume competition for sure…” “Coincidence? I think not!” Dr.Thebes stated boldly. “She is a witch! And not the good type of witch either…” “Wait, which witch? Which witch is the witch whom I want to pick as the winner? Does anyone know which witch it is? Egad! She must have put a spell on me that wicked witch!” Ms.Julia screeched. “No Ms.Julia that was just the poison, nothing to worry about. Well unless you consider dying a worrisome subject. On the other hand, you’ll make one heck of a zombie!” Katie said as she unsuccessfully tried to console Ms.Julia. The panicked Ms.Julia ran to Dr. Thebes for advice. “Dr. Thebes!” She said as he shot into the air in astonishment, “Dr Thebes! You must help me! Rachel poisoned me!” “Have you any idea how Rachel poisoned you Ma’am?” Dr. Thebes interjected. “Uh… how do you mean?” “HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING WOMAN!” Dr. Thebes fumed. Ms. Julia’s face lit up in recognition. “Yes…no?... does water count as eating?” “YES!!” “Well then yes, but I don’t think the water was poisoned, it tasted a little funny but I mean all water tastes funny right? And I have this weird thing with my sinuses so that everything tastes weird and- Dr Thebes?” As Ms.Julia was saying this Dr. Thebes was slowly counting down the seconds until Ms. Julia would drop to the floor and stop her incessant ranting.
Exactly 250 words. (give or take)
Sincerely?
Jasmine Crespo
Yes! I have wondered many of these questions myself. Thanks for unraveling the mystery Mr. Rosen. Also, the Random-Competition-For-No-Apparent-Reason-At-All Competition is a fabulous idea (and of course a fabulous title)!
ReplyDeleteMs. L
Why do you guys always leave me out of all the fun stuff? I'm sad now.
ReplyDeleteMarisa B.
Marisa, you are not the only one I am left out too.
ReplyDeleteSteven Pappas
(Andreas Garcia III)
Thanks Steven. I feel better now.
ReplyDeleteMarisa B.
And of course no one even bothers to think of me :p
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(a half-failed attempt)