I came up with this on the way home. answer the last question at the bottom after you read this by Kaleb Rasmussen

She tortures me
for reasons I don't know why
I think it's love
and yet she's certain, unwavering
She does not mean to
but she continues
torturing me
I'm close to death
and she is yet ignorant
She is bound to someone forever
She is the devil
She is an angel
She can touch me
She can look at me with loathing
I can't
I can't make myself to die
I can pull the dagger on her someone
that would make her know how I feel
but could I do that?
could I do such a thing
no, I can't
if I hurts someone she might possibly love more than me
and she gets hurt,
I will get hurt with her
if this is love
then I would rather die
but before I pull the trigger I think;
could I possibly hurt her more than she is hurting me?
could she become shriveled up?
I let go
deciding to continue torturing myself
I know I can stop this madness
I can't bring myself to do it
I look at her every day
she looks perfect
how she should be
I look at myself
I am a disaster
as I should be
I hold on to the only hope I have
that she may break up with this person and take me
that I should be hers and hers mine
I wait
in the unimportant yet perfect dungeons of Satan
hoping
yearning
for a chance
a change
that for once she might love me
that I could take her into my arms and embrace her
so I can escape from the terrors of blackness
horrors of darkness
and the total incompleteness of death
what is this?
is this death?
is this the difference between Heaven and Satan?
holding on to the hope,
the chance,
that I may be fully alive and complete.
Instead of what she is making me be.
A failure
What is this?