The Day Of My Life. By Taryn Green

Okay. I am thinking about turning this into a book. Here are the first few paragraphs, tell me what you think! I need some help making it better!


I sat there in my room, remembering the night that tore my family apart. The night that, ten years ago, still gives me an ache and makes me curl into a ball and let the grief overwhelm me.


It was a warm Autumn day in Portland, Oregon. My parents and I were heading up to our favorite camping spot for picnic. I was six, in first grade and ready to take on the world. I hadn't known the difference between gone-as in gone for the weekend- and gone- gone for good.
I remember all of us laughing in the car as we got closer to our special spot. My mom and dad grinning at me in the backseat, holding hands and smiling into each other's eyes. My dad was driving that day. Just as he looked back at me when I got his attention, something ran into the road. And we ran off the road. I remember hearing my name yelled in terror. I remember screaming for my mommy and my daddy, begging them to tell me what was going on, to tell me why I was hurt. Then, I remember blacking out.
I woke up in the hospital four days later. I had three broken bones in my tiny body. I was told that my parents weren't in any pain. I didn't know what that ment. I thought that they were alive and safe. But I was wrong.


Okay, that is everything I have written so far. I need ideas and some feedback!