And So It Begins by Peter Rosen (Please Comment)

Prologue
James glanced up as the door burst open. “I wonder what it is this time,” he muttered under his breath. The captain had to go to a meeting with the king, several advisers and the general, James’ father. It seemed that now that James was temporarily in charge, everything went wrong. Two guards had come down with some sort of sickness, and, of course, those two were scheduled for guard duty. By the time James had been able to track down two guards to fill the positions, there was another problem. One of his guards who was on duty the night before had gone missing. They had tried to find him, but the doors to the deep dungeons, where the guard had been patrolling, were not only locked, but by some strange happening, every key that they had tried did not work. Eventually, James was forced to resort to bashing down the door. This task had also seemed to be unnaturally difficult. The only thing that could have done this was magic, and that was precisely the problem.
“We need the captain in the dungeons immediately!”
James stared at the guard and raised his eyebrows. “The captain?”
“Yes, the captain,” the guard replied.
“As you very well know, the captain is in a meeting with the king himself, and unless you want to go inform the king personally just why you are interrupting their very important meeting, you’ll have to settle for me.”
The guard seemed to consider the choice for a moment. “We need you in the dungeons immediately,” the guard declared.
“Excellent choice,” James said dryly, “Now what is it you want me to see.”
“Well we found the guard. The guard’s name is Benjamin,” the guard told James somewhat nervously.
“I know his name,” James interrupted. “Go on, and this time, tell me only things that I don’t know.”
“Yes, yes of course,” the guard replied quickly. “As you know, we have been trying to bash down the door for quite some time. Well, we got through.”
“I would never have guessed.” By now, James was thoroughly annoyed.
“And we found the guard…”
“Amazing.”
“And we’re pretty sure that he’s dead.”
“He’s dead? How did he die?”
“We have absolutely no idea. Oh, and by the way, the prisoner’s gone.”
“The prisoner’s gone? Why didn’t you tell that to me in the first place?” “Well I thought it wasn’t that important.”
“The tyrant king who has ruled this land for the past five thousand years goes missing from is magically confined prison cell and you think it’s not important?!! You idiot! You imbecile! You don’t deserve to be a guard! No one is that stupid!”
James was very frustrated. Henry, the guard that he was talking to, was James’ favorite. Henry had applied to be a guard, but failed. He wasn’t as skilled a fighter as the others and that was what had stopped him from being a guard. It would have ended for Henry then and there if James had not heard of him. James saw something in Henry that others did not. Henry was extremely intelligent, and an excellent leader. James had managed to convince the captain that Henry’s unique abilities would make him an excellent guard, but now, James was having his doubts.

I'm working on it, and I would really appreciate your comments to make it better.