Tuesday, October 13, 2009

THE CHURCH By Maddie McMillan

I sat down on my bed, happy with the way things were going. I had a new house, I lived in a new city, and I had a cat. Yesterdays events had been weird, but had changed my life.
We Loiu had invited me to a local church with his family, I thought nothing of it. So I got on my newest, best looking dress and walked out the door.
As I walked down my hard stone street, I looked at the stars. They had a beautiful dimaond shine tonight. They seemed to be dancing.
I looked forward. The bouncy ball shaped church, with a roof that was a color between purple and green, was directly in front of me. I walked in quietly turned the corner to the main room, and froze.
His father was on the ground, choking. I got next to Liou, and the reat of the family. I clenched my fist, and pounded his father's stomache. A glint of silver flew into the air, and I caught it. As Loiu's dad regained consciousness, I opened my hand. It was a ring. It was a diamond in the shape of a heart. I looked up with glazed eyes.
Loiu was kneeling on one knee, smiling. His family was too. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, Loiu said " Will you marry me?" I could only nod. We left and ran back to my home, happy, and content.
That morning, I sat on my bed and went to the window. I could see the Sun in the distance, and the plants wre beautiful. They seemed as if they were ready to burst from their dazzling green color. I looked into the square. Loiu looked up at me, and held up a cat. It was an adorable yellow tabby. I sprinted dow nthe stairs, yanked the door open, and ran to him.
I gave him a hug and kiss. The tow of us walked to our brand new house and went inside with the cat in my arms.
****Please forgive me for not writing Loiu's name right. I totally guessed the spelling and went with it. Hope you enjoyed it!!!!!

9 comments:

  1. I could really see the church even from that small detail! McKenzie Stauffer

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  2. Maddie-
    I could see the whole picture again just like I did when your group read it in front of the class! It was so unique... I had to keep myself focused beacuse I was worried about Louie's dad choking to death and not even thinking about what picture you were describing! - Elise Scott

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  3. Maddi, that was awesome! I really just relived that! I could see everything with perfect detail and clarity. You have the makings of a true writer!

    Taryn Green

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  4. That was really great. I couldn't write something that amazing. Good job.

    -Ammon Harris

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  5. You did great that was completly amazing, keep it up!

    McCall Mash

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  6. Definitely the hardest one to guess, but I loved it!

    Taylor Tomlinson

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  7. You are an amazing writer! Goodness, gracious you need to write a book! I love all of your wording and it seems like you are really sitting there and looking straight up at the church!

    -Stephanie Johnson

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  8. I loved how you made yours a story instead of just a description. Good job buddy!

    Ellie Dow

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  9. :) WOW. That was absolutely incredible! Do the world a favor and write a book! :) Really great job with the description of the church. Really incredible!
    Sierra Iams

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