Things lost in my eyes.

I once had a vision. A vision where the pieces of my life were put together and only the sun shined. A vision only a child would have.
But now the world I see is all the wrong and hatred.
More walls get in the way of my innocence, until all I see is white.
I hate myself. Everyday I have no love for myself, but at least my respect has not moved out.
My sympathy gone for human kind and now what's left in my heart is a bitter and cold liquid.
I found myself, but lost it against reality.
I have no shadow. Reality hovers above me. A naive fantasy is something for the sleep.
The things I lost were the things I took for granted. I overestimated myself thinking that I could hold onto something untangible forever.
The minutes pass, never being able to relive it again.
How I crave my natural high, but now I'm unable to numb myself from reality. REALITY my nightmare and my unborn shadow.
I did the unspoken, ruining my insides. Experimenting ways to find the natural high once again. I drank it down, I inhaled it all.
Yet I'm still the one left in the streets with only the broken lights as my savior.
Where is it? Where did it all go?
I'm slowly disappearing, becoming as untouchable and unnoticable as cellophane. I'm a ghost stuck in a world of noise.
I lost myself under my protection.
I sit on the hard ground. Feeling the rush of the trains run by me. People going in and out, heading to a destination.
Left and right they go. But which way do I go?
I look around me, and no one bothers to look my way.
I've become silent as the flowers, except I've lost all my beauty.
I can see it. Far far away. A train coming my way. Inside I hope that it's for me. Who am I? A broken shell and an empty existence.
I killed myself. A successful suicide.
And now I walk around without a road to walk on.