26 Ways to Fail

Sorry for being this late on a non-school day guys but, I still have a life. Believe me, when I don't, I will gladly post all the time. Okay, time for the letter V. No, not five, "V", as in vendetta. No, not as in vendetta as in Vicky. (And for those of you who are like my sister and think the song goes "Hey Vicky, you're so fine" it's hey Mickey. She hasn't gotten the fact that it's a girl singing to a boy and that the singer is named Vicky.) One of the suggestions I got today was viper (as in the snake not the car). By the way, suggestions can be made by calling or texting 801-***-****. Sorry that was mean. okay, the numbers in the middle are between 0 and 9 and they add up to 27. At least I did not get the suggestion Voldemort. Even though for a brief moment I thought about it, looked up a website, was freaked out by how badly people think Harry Potter is real, and rejected the idea. Honestly, I love Harry Potter, but some people treat it as if the characters are real and that Daniel Radcliff is a god among men. (Okay I am personally disturbed by what I just wrote so I'm moving on as fast as I can.) V for me is mostly for Venezuela. It's a country located at the top of South America. The reason I think of that mostly is because my Dad was from there. Caracas, Venezuela. (This also explains the Venezuelan button on my backpack). My Dad lived there for a big part of his life, in fact he lived there like 24 years. (?) He then moved to New Jersey and started learning English and eventually moved to Provo where he met my Mom, they got married, then had me.. blah blah blah. Sorry that space was like 3 years because he was 27 when I was born. My Mom said he had the worst accent too. Sorry, I'm blathering on and on when I shouldn't be. Venezuela is a beautiful place that I've seen a lot of pictures of. Okay now to move on just a bit. V: violet. V: Violence V: I don't want to write anymore words that start with v. VEGETABLES! Perfect. Vegetables are good and healthy things that are yummy and nutritious. As long as it's not in baby food form. Oh memories.... fear factor and me having to eat a whole entire can of baby food. It actually wasn't that bad. Valentine's day. Ooh.. that was actually random of me to think of now. One moment while I prep...

What? It's blue, I couldn't resist. Now I want you all to think back... back to Elementary school.

We all gave each other candy because it mandatory. You had a list of all the people in your class and you gave them each a "creative" store bought valentine with a popular cartoon character on it and a piece of mostly chocolate candies. (though some were nerds) It was almost better than Halloween! So much candy, and if you went to my elementary school (Moss not Lincoln) , we had valentine box competitions along with a valentine's dance. (obviously we were all 5th and 6th graders and we did not bring dates to this dance.) Somehow, always, there is the strange kid in the class who is very creepy and has an unhealthy and obsessive crush on someone. *Shivers* this is a very awkward/bad memory because on Valentine's Day, said child always goes over the top and gets a big and special Valentine for his "love". *shivers again* Luckily I was only the object of said child/s 3 times. (3 different kids in 2 different schools) One was Weston Smith in Kindergarten who had a complete obsession over me. Needless to say my valentines box had a lot of candy from him in it and a very cheesy, not well written (we were 5 and barely knew how to write our names) and handmade (the best kind). I only had to survive another week after that because he somehow transfered to the p.m. Kindergarten. The next was in 1st grade. (Somehow these were all around valentine's day. Must be allergies or something.) We were getting ready for our first performance of the school play. Due to some major brain malfunctions on my part I don't remember what the name was of it (plus the program we saved got burned, long story). Anyway, the part I got I got to sing 2 solos (which I don't remember anymore) and I had to hug Danny Young. I was fine with it, except for during our last dress rehearsal I finished my song and was about to hug him when he tried to kiss me. Do to the fact my father told me to do so if any boy ever tried, I punched him in the nose. It probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His nose started bleeding and he started crying really loudly, I didn't get in that much trouble, our teacher said that we just weren't going to hug anymore. I should've known he would try it though, because when he gave me his valentine that year, it was a giant heart with our initials on it. My mom thought this was all so cute. The last one was in 4th grade when a really weird kid whose name I didn't know (hey I was the new girl, give me a break) put a giant valentine in my box. He stalked me all of 4th grade until he moved away. See, when we are little, we have a twisted perception of valentines.

Saint Valentine's Day (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day) is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

Yeah, we don't think of that do we? So I'll save some of this stuff for the actual Valentine's Day (which is a Monday) and try to finish with some part of my non-awkwardness left. We all have very creepy Elementary school memories so let's focus on chocolate, the greatest candy of them all.

Jasmine Crespo