Lucky 13

I'm sorry this is one day late. I had a battle with the Penguin Police that only ended in an epic duel at the Grand Canyon (yes, I won). Oh no. Here they come again. Time to disappear in a cloud of blueberries.

Peter Rosen

26 Ways to Fail

Hello bloggers, sorry this has to be short for now. Thanks to Aninimous I wasn't relocated to knotts berry farm. Actually the plane was too full so I couldn't go. Oh well. Today is n for night. Horrible book in my opinion but more on it later.Does anyone know what happened to Lucky 13?




ANINMOUS! WHY ARE THERE PENGUIN POLICE SURROUNDING MY CAR??















Aninimous you are so dead meat.



Until later


Jasmine Crespo


Click comments to see real post.

You Have a Problem

Hello and sorry again for this being so late.
I am so sorry Jasmine, it is all my family's doing. They good news, is that while you where unconscious they used a thing called Extractor 497, and that should of removed all of the "X-Factor" from you. You should be able to go home tomorrow. By the way, the Extractor 497 isn't the Penguin Police's invention, it was stolen... No that not right stolen is talking about the bad guys, taken... no, it was acquired from the enemy.
I won't tell how, and that is all for now.
Aninimous

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

Strawberries and jumping ducklings... The violet weather paints us a picture... Underneath that wayward moon, near the observant pond, in the quiet, slightly lit park. Spirits are soaring tonight, just to personally meet that welcoming moon and tell the tales of unbreakable bonds. The newly bloomed flowers stretch towards the meeting, cheering on the stories. The clouds retreat, opening up a full view. Brilliance spreads about the silence. Shining and smiling, the moon reaches the depths of the passing observers' hearts. The world suddenly yet slowly rises to watch. Surrounding the moon, as if in a halo. Not even the playful winds make a sound. Ribbons of grass and water gather to speculate. Hand in hand, the night sky... One piece of the puzzle complete. Like a scarf, sooth and comfort. Tears, salty but sweet. The sun gives mercy and steps away from the endless night. The sight beheld above that night sky embroiders a feeling upon a soul. O'er the horizon... within spring's arrival.... love... awaits...

26 Ways to Fail

... Aninimous, you are dead to me. I'm forced to blog from my mothers phone. Today is m. Lets go with magic. Sorry this has to be short. As a brainwashing device they also have me addicted to angry birds. Also on this phone. At least I can speak and now have a watch. Thursday I may be relocated to California at knotts berry farm. Until later.

Jasmine Crespo

Lucky 13

I have been very busy for the past while, and I have still not finished my current project. I may tell you about my projects later, but for now, eat toast, enjoy chocolate, and do not, for any reason, touch those blueberries.

Peter Rosen

You Have a Problem

Sorry this is so, so late, but mucha has happened. (Not really, but go with it.) Patrick Suanda is being moved to a high security jail controlled by my family. That brings me now to the topic of what to do, because the Toast War is pretty much over.

Hmmmmm.

Aninimous

26 Ways to Fail

Hey bloggers! This is Aurora. Unfortunately, Jasmine is not able to post today. She is still kidnapped, and informed me, but as a punishment they took away her voice and are laughing at the froggy tone, and comparing her to the Little Mermaid, when Ariel lost her voice. So she has kindly asked for me to fill her in for the last two days that she has missed, and even though it is late and I am fatigued, I will try and fulfill my promise.

Yesterday's letter was 'O'. O is the second to last vowel in the English Alphabet, and

would be among one of my favorites, if I had a favorite letter. It also resembles a circle, which is a shape with a center that all points are equidistant to. Circles also have a radius, diameter, and an infinite number of lines of symmetry. One of the first words that I think about when I hear the letter 'o' is Oscar the grouch, from Sesame Street. Oscar was one of the best characters of the show, in my mind, and was always fun to listen to. His recycling bin is one of the most unique houses that I have ever seen, I have to admit. His green fur always made me think of moss, however...strange. Another thing that I think of when I hear the word 'o' is Orange. Oranges are rich in Vitamin C, and are a citrus fruit. Their name is the same as their color, and they grow mold really fast, so don't leave them sitting out too long! There have been too many occasions on which I have picked up an orange and found that I have powdery green mold on my hand. Which leaves us back to Oscar's green fur. Maybe it's really mold....interesting.

Today's letter of the day is 'L'. L is the first letter in the word L-O-V-E, love. Love is an amazing emotion that seizes the hearts of many each day. It is one of the most powerful feelings known to mankind, aside from hatred. Love is a wonderful thing. If you count of 20 things that you really love each day, and never repeat things, then each day your attitude will be improved. I'll use my list as an example: I love chocolate! I love bananas and icecream! I love my pets! I love my family! I love the play, Oklahoma! I love technology! I love the mountains! I love my bed! I love spring break! I love cell phones! I love seminary! I love digital photos! I love my neighbor who always greets me each day I come home from school! I love my friends! I love poetry! I love volleyball! I love food! I love books (and bookgroup)! I LOVE oxygen! There are so many things to love! You can even love the word love!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this blog post from me, Aurora, not Jasmine. Maybe she will be able to write tomorrow, we'll see. Farewell, bloggers!

-Aurora

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

You know... People only notice me on Facebook when I talk about school. It seems as if I can't talk about anything happening to me personally. (sigh) I'll be honest... I love attention! But... there's a difference between being noticed and being looked at.

Lucky 13

The Penguin Police! So excellently fantastic. Couldn't have picked a better nemesis myself. Of course, they have been trying to capture my associates and myself for over a year now.
To whom it may concern: CABDEQ13 was a success.
No more time to write. Ah well.

Peter Rosen

Why?

It was either the ending or the beginning
Turns out it was the end.
No more doors for me to open
Just blanks walls for me to stare.

Oh, I beat the walls with all my heart
And shouted till my voice knew no sound
And then I lay there quietly
Resting so I could fight again

But all the will left me at that moment
The voices not wanting me to leave
And I sat in quiet oblivion
Just staring at what could be

Images raced through my head
Things that I had seen
How people in the movies had fought and escaped,
Free but never free.

Is it better to stay captive
Knowing no more hurt can come?
Or to escape the world of nothing
Always being numb?

I’m not a daring person
Nor am I one to let things go as they will
So I will make my own beginning
With my own chalk
In my own hand
And create something that wasn’t meant to be

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

Anime Invasion Plan: Phase 1

The Genius in Progress

You Have a Problem

Sorry this is late, but I have been really busy. As you have heard Patrick Suanda has been captured, and I would love to saw it was all my doing, but, my family (Penguin Police) did most of it.
My family still do not care at all in the Toast War, and the only reason that they got involved was because Patrick Suanda got what my family calls the X-Factor. They won't tell me what it is, but apparently they kidnapped Jasmine from the SSS and now have her in custody for the same reason. I am sorry Jasmine you have had to go through all of this.
My family put a tracer on everyone how signs into this blog, they can find where they are. Well, when Patrick Suanda got on, my family when and kidnapped him, and that is the story of how Patrick Suanda got captured.
Patrick will not tell us any information, although all my family cares about is the X-Factor. Also SSS agents tried to free Patrick, but were captured in the process.
Well that is all I have to say, so until I hear more.
Goodbye.
Aninimous

Lips Shut Tight

My silence will ruin everything
My speech not meant to be heard
My heart is to mourn quietly
As I watch the world fall around me

What can I do? I will be hindered either way
Stopped by those who hold my soul captive
And those who watch me every day.

I want to fight, I want to try
But I know I will fail in the end

I always fail in the end

With lips shut tight
I resign myself to my fate
For I can not do what I must
And there is nothing I can change



No this is not the anonymous poster who has posted the incredible poems of late. This is merely a person who chooses to stay hidden from the public eye. At least, for now.

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

Arr... Inconceivable. ....Huh? What does inconceivable even mean? I just say whenever I am slightly irritated, because you know, I like to sound smart. Um... Oh! Inconceivable means hard to believe... Basically like saying "Wow! Unbelievable!" Aren't you proud of me, guys? I looked up a word and can say it knowing the definition!

Anyways, I know this is pretty random, and it's not the normal poetry I submit, but... Have you guys been a little out of it lately? It's kind of... The atmosphere of the esteemed (ooh, dictionary, dictionary...) (ah, right word!) is somewhat different than before... Oh, Moo is crying!! Okay, this post is intended to be a lifter of spirits! To get you guys back in gear! ... Gee, don't I sound important? Heh! So... If you do not wish to listen to my cheesy, geeky randomness, I command you... STOP READING!!! Or else I will send my flying monkeys after you.

Still here? Aww! Moo is touched! Let's see now....
Dear Sister: I need a haircut! It's gotten so long to the point that it touches the back of my shirt collar! Yeah! It's goes down my neck! It's gotten so long to the point that I can put it in a ponytail! It's gotten so long to the point that my friends persist (DICTIONARY!!!) (hmm... no) REPHRASE!! It's gotten so long to the point that my friends continually insist on touching my head (actually, it's. not. so. bad!! [insert smiley face]) Please cut my hair, sister! Have you seen the other guys that were involved in the play? Yeah, they cut their hair!! Ahh! Cut my hair! Cut it now! Hm... That DOES sound weird coming out of my mouth... Huh? Yes, I am still going to get it cut. Huh? Don't you talk to me that way! You did NOT become one of my consciences by yelling at me this way. Ahem! Good conscience! Bad conscience is interrupting in my good cause and...! (you get the point)

STILL STILL here? Waowww. Moo is stupefied. Moo is.... confused! Moo is... MOO IS...! (paff! (a sound Moo makes when he collapses on the ground))

Ah hello! I suppose I shall step in for Moo... This is Otdom's (yes, Moo is not his real name, he just uses it to be funny, well, HA-HA.) devil spirit; his BAD conscience. I tell him he's weak, that he's too skinny (I can see his ^&^&*^*%%% (yes, as the bad conscience, it is my JOB to swear) ribs!), that his butt is too flat, that his eyes are too small, that he has no talents, that he deserves to be alone, etc. Whew! What a busy job I have, eh?

Hmm? Hey! Devil Otdommy! As nicely and politely as I can: GET TEH HEAVEN OUT!! This, my dear friends, is I, Angel Otdommy. Yes, you are most likely wondering why I am adding the -my after Otdom. Well, 'tis the name his sisters sometimes call him. It makes him sound innocent, right? Well, that's the whole point. It is MY job to make him feel better. I heal him (oh, I bet he likes that one; it reminds him of a video game). I tell him that there IS hope... It is also my job (ooh, I like this one) to shoot Devil Otdommy in this face or heart with a gun. In other words (no, unfortunately, I do not get to literally shoot him), I try as hard as I can to shut out Devil Otdommy in Otdom's time of stress.

Well now, since Otdom is still passed out on the ground (he may be like that for a while), I think that we (his angel and devil consciences) will move him to his bed and turn on some music for him. Yes, we know he is supposed to do his homework, but... the poor boy! He accidentally thought that it was already morning and that he had to get up for school (because it was 7 in the evening, and the sky looked like morning). See? Let him be. He is warring amongst himself (another video game reference to him and he likes the term). We know he intended to be as geeky, cheesy, and as random as possible, but you see, that comes from his desire. His desire to exist to make people happy. Silly, I know. Please think about what you say, Devil Otdommy. Anyways, yes, he has assumed that something is wrong with the posters of this blog, but we assure you, it comes out of good intention. We shall let him rest. We believe he has shutdown his systems due to stress (and possible lack of sleep (as we are sure most of you have noticed in school)). We are sorry for his silliness, he's just lonely. Let him have his fun, as it seems he does not get enough at home. We are sorry if he is annoying. Forgive him, as hard as it is to do. Forgive him.

Now then, we are truly sorry for this horrendously (Hmm... Angel Otdommy is that word correctly used? Yes.) long blog post. Otdom threw his thoughts out there. Farewell! And we thank you for being so kind to him!
-Angel and Devil Otdommy

26 Ways to Fail

Keeping with short posts.... The SSS kidnapped me.. AGAIN. Idiots, I was supposedly working for you but now that is toast. So I'm writing from a jail cell.

Jasmine Crespo

Lucky 13

I am so busy. You will stop reading this now, because I am no longer writing anything.

Peter Rosen

You Have a Problem

Sorry this is short, but I have a plane to catch in 2 minutes.
Patrick Suanda was captured.
Yes this is great news but I have to go.
1 minute 43 seconds left
Okay, bye
Aninimous
1 minute 37 seconds

Oooooklahoma (singing)

CONGRATULATIONS to all in Oklahoma! It was a great show.

26 Ways to Fail

Sorry... way too late. Way too hyper.(as far as you know). Como yo? I don't know. So....

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

(Number lock on alt+5)

Jasmine Crespo

Jasmine Crespo

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

I found a poem! Ahem!

"Thinking of you, wherever you are,

We pray for our sorrows to end,
and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realise this wish.

And who knows:
starting a new journey may not be so hard
or maybe it has already begun.

There are many worlds,
but they share the same sky-
one sky, one destiny."

Kingdom Hearts, anyone? 83

-Mr. O, AKA Otdomasaurus, AKA Moo, AKA Otdom

Lucky 13

I am so busy. So very busy. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm still not sure what to say, so I guess that will be all.

Peter Rosen

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

The story begins during the stage of growth and hidden strength. Underneath the cherry blossoms, our heroine is vied for. Her warm spirit is adored by many, she is seen as the 'natural type.' She is both dense and clever. The first one she is, to ever come upon their fortunate lives. Just for her, they give their adoration, though for different reasons. Simple attraction, the urge to get close to her, the kindness she shows, the desire to protect her, the motivation to paint her into a picture... all the more reason to like her.
Will you be coming today? We would like to show her to you! Our pride and joy! Daddy's daughter! The door connecting us and the world... The reason for Daddy's recent capriciousness... The one who likes my bunny! The one we all love...

You Have a Problem

Hello and if you haven't guessed, which you probably haven't this is Patrick Suanda.

Well some quick announcements, yes even I have some.

I have also taken Italy, and most of Thailand.

Also I would like to "thank" Peter for the fruit plate. I think you know what I mean. I haven't tried the chocolate, but if it was anything like the rest of the plate, I am sure that it was great. Thanks for trying it Jasmine.

My question is now for Peter.

I know that you are an evil genius, Steven commends you on some things but obviously doesn't tell me. If you are an evil genius, why don't you help me. One evil genius helps another. Just think about it, Steven has the right idea.

Just for the fun of it, I am going to tell everyone wear is the next place I am going to take over. The next place I am taking over (this does not include France) is Chi ...

The Spider

I scurry at the shadowy hour

Across your bedroom wall

Onto the floor where your dog cowers

And into a corner I crawl

I have eight legs, spindly and hairy

That twitch at every sound

A huge, hairy butt, an egg sack I carry

And glossy eyes that stare at the ground

I spin a web made of silk strands

That I can call my own home

Then sway onto you small clock’s hands

And towards the ceiling I come

I crawl above to where you sleep

And drop onto your cushy bed

Wander forward for a little peek

And walk onto your head

You wake with a start and deafen me

With shrieks that make me sore

Throw me onto the floor violently

Where I find refuge under the door

When I come out the next dark night

You await me at the floor mat

Raise a book above me, out of sight

And before I know it,

SPLAT!

I found this poem in my poetry folder from seventh grade. Seventh Grade! I remember those days, when I used to find spiders everywhere in my room and I was always scared that one would fall on me when I was sleeping. I still see spiders now but not as much as I did then, when my house still had our old carpet. I think I wrote this for the sole purpose of mocking spiders, so that maybe it would make them less scary. It didn't, but that's not the point. The point is....what is the point? I guess there isn't really one, but I hope that you enjoyed the poem nonetheless!

-Alison

26 Ways to Fail

Okay I'm sorry I haven't been on a computer for a week guys. It was some random thing that the SSS kidnapped me, like they did Peter and Santa, for some random reason. Actually, I think it was more of a whim then a random reason. Sorry that I'm not doing a letter today but I'll double up on it on Thursday... Maybe. There are some announcements: (Well everything has announcements so why not this post?) Oklahoma! is playing on Wednesday, Thursday ,and Friday here at HJH at 7:00.... Speaking of times, daylight savings time happened! Well for all of you who haven't noticed already. This reminded me of someone's evil plan to slowly change the times on all satellites by a minute so that gradually the worlds clocks would be wrong and mess with everyone's head. Or something like that, I can't really remember now. Oh yes, today was Pi Day! I don't really know what it is since it wasn't my math class but go with it. 3.141592654.... and other numbers. Now more on my kidnapping...

It was cold... very cold... until Patrick Suanda brought me some hot chocolate... which was nice. I asked him who gave him the hot chocolate and he said his mother. I said that was so nice of her, and it was so nice of him to give me the hot chocolate. Though I'm pretty sure it was posioned.... It was on Thursday so any of you who saw me on Thursday, that was why I was super hyper. It must have been iokane (sorry for spelling) powder, good thing I have build up an immunity. MWA HA HA AH HA HAha ah.................................... *************************************************************************************

Darn.

Jasmine Crespo

Battle of Wits - Princess Bride by bintbaddi

Lucky 13

I'll just launch right in. Patrick Suanda is planning to...

We regret to inform you that the SSS has once again taken Peter captive.

Ha! Eat blueberries, you fiend! You thought I was knocked out, didn't you? And for the rest of you, I didn't install the bowling trap for nothing!

Sorry about that. I had to deal with some pesky SSS agents. Anyway, I have been finding numerous SSS reference to "Mongolia falls on March 18." They were widely distributed, but not well disguised. I think the real message is...France on March 23rd. The word "falls" starts with F-A and ends with a "s" sound or "ce". Therefore, France is the country. There are also twenty-three characters in every message. The month will obviously be March (the SSS wouldn't slow down, even to trick us), but the day is either the 23rd or the 27th (this includes spaces). We should assume it's the 23rd to be safe, and keep agents in France and Mongolia until the SSS strikes again.

Well, that's the latest updates.

Peter Rosen

P.S. I sent Patrick Suanda a fruit plate and some hot chocolate mix.

You Have a Problem

Peter what was it!!! I need to know what you know to stop Patrick Suanda. I have nothing and in the meantime, Patrick has taken over Cyprus and the Arctic. Please Peter tell me.

Oh sorry about that, I have been distressed lately and am getting nowhere. Well, I am sorry for nothing good to report, butI am trying to find something to stop. Well I will leave with a quote. f

"It is Dr. Pork Chop!"

"It is evil Dr. Pork Chop to you." Toy Story 3.

Aninimous

26 Ways To Fail

Ok, I know it is really super-duper late, so since the last 26 Ways to Fail was long, I'll make this one short. What's the letter? Ah, yes, K. First things I think of. Kangaroos. And koala bears. Hmmm, here is a challenge. Make a list of 26 things that start with K. GO!

You are Not Alone

Dearest Blog Entries,

I read you. And laugh - and grin- and roll my eyes in the best possible way. But I missed something. This poem to be specific. It seems to be anonymous, so my comment is to draw attention to your work. Well done. Write on.

http://honors9th.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-just-want-to-be-loved.html

Ms. L

Excuse Note

Please excuse the tardy user of my alarm function for not doing as he was supposed to when i ceaselessly beeped. I was under the belief that the use of an alarm would envoke the act of waking up. He proved me so very wrong.
Signed,
The Alarm Clock

Will Matthews

Lucky 13

I said I had much to tell last week, and that was indeed true. I do have a little bit of time to tell it, so I'll try to make this as quick as possible. Patrick Suanda is up to no good (and that's not good. The universe is imploding, and that's not good). Which brings me to an interesting question. Can the universe explode?

Oh. Sorry. Patrick Suanda. He appears to have been planning something. His plans were...

No! Don't eat those blueberries! Please don't! Get away from those! DON'T EAT THE BLUEBERRIES! THOSE ARE NOT FOR...BOOM!

Sorry about that. I was trying to get funding for more scientific experiments. I was talking to a potential investor before I stepped into here. I don't think he will invest any money.

Back to Patrick Suanda. Oh dear, I have run out of time.

Peter Rosen

Excuse Note- Dallas Anderson

Dear Doctor (and teachers),

You can probably tell that my right arm is broken, my left wrist is sprained, my neck is swollen, my right ankle is fractured, etc. It's all part of my wrestling obsession. You see, last night was Monday Night Raw, and I was pumped up as ever for it. I was standing up the whole night, watching John Cena and the others beat the tar out of each other. All of a sudden, my brother kicks me for no reason. Then it gets serious. Here we go; one on one with each other. We're beating each other up, using WWE finishers and feeling in the moment like the superstars do. Then, my little brother picked up a sledgehammer, and slammed it into my ankle, causing me to fall down onto my leg. We stopped wrestling, but picked up the Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 video game and started playing that. At the end of our first match, I pinned him (because I ALWAYS win), and he chucked his controller at my arm.

Please excuse me from all my work, as I have some unfinished business to attend to...

Sincerely,

Dallas Anderson

Excuse note- Madelin Crapo- Period 1
Dear cell phone,
I am sorry I did not text you today. You see, I broke both of my hands. I was waiting at the TRAX station when I tripped over a lone hobo. Right when I fell, a train came rushing by and over my hands. When I realized what had happened, I went into a panic. Someone called an ambulance and I passed out. I woke up in a white hospital room with a beeping sound echoing in my brain. I am sorry about this unfortunate event. I promise to text twice as much on you when I return.
Sincerely,
Madelin

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

Sigh... Time to find something else to do... Sniff.... You see, I just finished watching a certain anime... Now I wish there was more!! I can always read the original manga! It is good! The thing is, however, that I can only read it online (unless I ninja myself a new library card) and it is kind of uncomfortable. Having to resize the page and then scroll down slowly.... It takes longer to read!! Oh well... Then again, the manga IS in fact, longer (at least, I THINK). Hm. See? This is what I have to do if I am not playing video games.

Teh Excuse Note!!!

Dear Teacher!!!
Please excuse me from school because my alarm clock attacked me. I tried to fight it off, but the blankets betrayed me with their extreme comfort. The pillows would not let me go, so I tossed and turned. The sun began to rise, and the war continued. I'm sorry, I tried! I guess I'm stuck in bed. Oh well.
-Sergeant O. (Otdom Polson) of period 1

Excuse Note by: Tessa Yates

Dear Hillcrest Jr. High School,

Please excuse Tessa for not having her homework assignment for her foods class. She was too concentrated in the assignment to feed me last night and I found myself dying with hunger. It was delicious.

Thank you,

Riley (Tessa's dog)

Excuses

Dear Teacher of choice,

Please excuse Savid from his homework for the rest of his life, he broke his wrist, and his hand, on the other wrist, has a rash, so he can't pick up or hold any sort of writing device. I am a real doctor, so if i say he broke his hand on Live, he did.

Savid Acuna

I mean Dr. Desking

James Cosgrove

Please excuse my personal slave from school on friday, the 28th of January. I have required him that he should stay home on this special day to pet me, scrach that one spot behind my ear I can't get, feed me all day, and give me all the catnip he could possibly find. Why is this day special you ask? Why, it is because I say it is I have chosen this family as my servent, and they are greatful. I am the master of this household, and eventully the world. You may give him his work for today, but know he missed school to serve the greatest organism alive.
- Cat, The Future Ruler of the World

Isaac Erekson

Dear Princess
Please excuse Marios absence, he is buisy trying to find the right castle. We have recived many compliants from the Koopa because of a plumber sneaking through their pipes, jumping on their heads then stealing all of their coins and mushrooms.

My excuse note. Zoe Brinton. Period 5

Dear Hillcrest Jr. High,

I am so very sorry for my increasing record of skipping school. My family farm has seriously gone crazy. Pigs have been flying everywhere in every direction. And worst of very all, everyone has been affected with the terrible case of Chicken Pox and Mad Cow Disease. Oh Lord, it's been a week. Ma and Pa are squaking like geese and I can't deal with it. So every apology.

Love,

A very loyal student.

P.S... When can I make up that test??

Ciera

Excuse Note by Brynn Hall

Dear Hillcrest Junior High,

Please excuse Brynn's tardy from school today, it was not her fault I was red. Cars come and go but no car never stays for more then two minutes. When I saw Brynn's shiny, sleek, black car roll onto the pavement, I just knew I had to beg her to stay. I turned yellow, then red when she pulled up, and she came to a stop. I stayed red for three minutes total, but I could tell she did not want to stay with me. So, I let her go. Like I do with many cars a day. I take full responsibility for her tardy. If only I would have just stayed green for one more second, she would have been to school on time, and I wouldn't be so disappointed. Please, if you are going to punish anyone, punish me.

Sincerely,

The Stoplight

Excuse note by Blake Harsh

Please excuse Blake Harsh from being late to his first period. He worked really hard on his homework last night so when me and the rest of the flying monkeys took his homework, he was not happy. So that smart aleck grabbed onto my tail, so of course I had to try to drop him into a huge pit of lava. After he refused to let go we dropped him off here.

Sincerely,
The Flying Monkeys

You Have a Problem

Hello and welcome to You Have a Problem.

I have found out what has happened to the plane that disintegrated over Sri Lanka. Apparently, there was a disentevaporator on the plane and that went off and the plane was disentevaporated.

Onto other news, the anti-SSS have captured 23 more agents. We found them trashing toasters in alleyways.

Well, onto some other (other) news. I hate that it snowed today. I was so ready for spring, and then this happened. Worse than that, my neighbors the Fredricksons kept pelting me with snowballs. I hate the SNOW!!!! I have vowed my revenge on the Fredricksons. I just don't know how. Anyone, I need ideas. I need to make my neighbors pay once and for all. Please help me.

Aninimous

P.S. If you haven't guessed yet, I can't throw a snowball to save my life.

Excuse Note by Yvonne Wu

Dear Ms. Lafortune.
Please excuse Yvonne from not turning in her assignment. She really did it, I promise, I watched her work on it while I kept asking her to throw the ball to me. After she left though, she left the ball on the paper, and I tried getting it, and before you know it. I took a huge chomp out of it, but no need to worry, tasted like a straight A(: It won't ever happen again, well as long as she doesn't leave my ball somehwere with her homework.

Your Best Friend,

The dog who ate her homework.

Excuse Convo-Alysann Flower

"No, no, no mom! I can't go!" Why not? "I.. I.. I have too much homework." You can do it later... "Wait! Did I say I have homework, I meant I'm really sick *cough* *couch*." You are not sick you dont have a fever. "I never said I was sick I meant I want to stay home and clean..." So let me get this right; you want to stay home and clean? "Ya, ya that's it." What are you going to clean? "O nothing just um, the cookie jar!" :)
A convo between a mom and her son

Excuse Note- Kelsey Ross P. 5

Dear Parental Authority:

I am so terribly sorry to have missed the delicious "Veggie Spaghetti" last night. I did not mean to hurt you by going to a wild party at my friends house instead. I would never "purposely" miss dinner with my amazing family that gets along so well. I cried myself to sleep with shame last night.

Love,
Kelsey

P.S. The party was great! :D

The Click

Hello anyone who cares to read this post that is completely and totally unrelated to ruling the world or toast (to those of you who just stopped reading, I will find you and murder you in your sleep). Today I want to share my thoughts on what you could call love, but I define it slightly differently. To start off with, I would like you to just think about how many songs, poems, movies, TV shows, quotes, etc. are centered around "love". As you can see, there are quite a few in this day and age (there are also just as many about heartbreak and disappointment, but they are fairly irrelevant to my topic). Many people (actually every person that I know that have shared their ideas of love to me) believe that they are searching for love. I however don't think this to be completely true.

What I think everyone on this good Earth is really searching for is what I call the click. The click is just as simple as it sounds, so don't stress over it too much. The click is what a person finds when something in them reacts, in a good way, to a certain person or thing. Well isn't that love you ask? When speaking of love in the way that millions of people through time have spoke of it, not necessarily. I will use my aunt as an example. She is 48 years old, and as far as I know, hasn't dated as long as I've been alive (perhaps longer, but it's not like I can just talk to her face to face whenever I want). And before you get any ideas of a sullen, ill-tempered witch, you need to know that she is the happiest and spunkiest person in my life. Her click so far isn't with another person, it's with her family and her work. (Please excuse me as I don't think I clarified this, I'm not saying there is no such thing as love. I'm just saying that there is a certain connection that may or may not be broken, or enlarged. I'm pretty much saying that the click is an important process if you ever want to love someone.) Ok, I lost my train of thought.

Have a good day/night/whatever time it is,
Marisa B.

Excuse Note-Kylee Call-Period 1

To whom it may concern:

Please excuse Kylee Call for her Tardy this morning. My lucious soft warm feather down was no match for that annoying & pathetic thing that calls itself an alarm clock. The darling couldn't take her head off me. Dont worry though I am now participating in an early morning Yoga class and will be waking up every morning wither her.

Sincerely,
The Best Purple Pillow Ever

Excuse Note - Brianne Johnson

Dear Hillcrest Junior High,

This is Dr. Berg from Berg's dentistry excusing Brianne Johnson from school today. I'm terribly sorry that our scheduling conflicted with her school activities. I'm sure she was just dying to flunk her math test, be lectured on the water cycle in science, and be bored to tears by the her notes in Spanish.She hauls herself out of bed at the crack of dawn and drags herself from class to class just so she may drown herself in the misery. Brianne, I'm sure, is dying because she missed out on all the exhilarating experiences school has to offer. She will snap right back to work with a smile on her face, and bounce in her step. Again, terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Dr. Gerald Berg

Excuse Note-Stephanie Johnson

Dear Ms. LaFortune,
I know that I constantly ask for an excuse on my late assignments, but this time it's vital. I have a deadly condition entitled Non-Workaholic. If I go against this condition and expend any energy whatsoever, my health will be on the line. How does one survive without working, you may ask. Well, with my intense condition, I avoid all type of writing and doing essays as much as possible.

Sincerely,
Stephanie Johnson

Dear Mr. Stickman, Xander Summers Period 6

I apologize for messing up your eyes so you are always mad. I am also very sorry that I did not give yoiu muscular arms to impress that one girl with the triangle dress. I would have made you better if I could have erased your short, stubby, skinny arms. Maybe if you were luckier I would have given you hands instead of the transparent circles that you have now. I want you to also forgive me for not giving you feet, it must be very hard to walk without them. Those stubby legs must be embarrassing. Don't even ask me why I did what I did, blame the hand that controlled me, that stupid chubby little hand. Also sorry I didn't give you a mouth.

Sincerely,
The #2 Pencil

P.S. Good luck with the triangle dress girl, hey maybe you guys have a lot in common for example you both have stubby legs.

Alex Crowell- Excuse Note

Dear Hillcrest Junior High,

I am extremely sorry to hear that your school has had an outbreak of intensive Bieber Fever. I, Justin Bieber, am taking full accountablity for this situation. It is not these young ladies fault that I'm so incredibly gorgeous and my hair flips in slow motion. It is not their fault that they think my songs are secretly written to each one of them, it is a side effect of the B-Fever. I apologize, so please exuse these ladies from their rabid behavior and I take full responsiblity for each outbreak and outburst.

- JB

Exuse Note - Brennan Clayton

Dear Ms. Lafortune,

I am so sorry Tristan couldn't get his work done today. I just kept breaking because i just absolutely LOVE to be sharpened. It is the best feeling i the world! To feel so fresh after being unwillfully and horribly dulled by a piece of paper. I just can't stand being so dull, so i just had to break. I am so very terribly sorry.

Sincerely,

The Pencil

P.S. - I am also sorry for all the noise and disruption that Tristan caused trying to sharpen me.

Extra Credit Excuse Letter by Blake Brockbank

Dear Utah,
I'm sorry for what I have done, but i don't regret it. I'm sorry for being so dang awesome that you can't handle it. I'm sorry for being so awesome that I get paid millions of dollars to be injured. If I ever played, I might just dominate so much that I came to the conclusion that I should injure myself for the good of the league. Many people hate me and I don't understand why. I always look my best in my suit on the bench because I am just too awesome to actually play. I sat there and made more money than any other players on the team who actually played. There is a reason I made a bunch of money, it is because I am just so awesome. I am sorry for being so awesome, but too bad for you because I am off to warm up the bench in my nice suit over in Chicago.
Sincerely,
Carlos Boozer

Excuse Note McKenzie Stauffer

Dear Hillcrest Jr. High School,
Please excuse all of the girl students and most of the female teachers. For when they heard that I was going to go boating at Lake Powell they just had to come and see me. Well who could blame them with my stunning looks and rock hard abs? These girls couldn't resist the chance to come and drool and scream over me. I sure hope that you understand:).
Love,
Brad Pitt

My Excuse Note- By: Dana Soweidan

Please excuse Dana Soweidan from school and her previous assignment for when she woke up she found a gorilla eating her homework, so she ran after the gorilla. When she finally reached him the gorilla was handing the backpack to a zebra. Then suddenly an elephant comes out of no where and sprays Dana's backpack with mud and water. As if it couldn't get damaged enough, a cheetah comes, takes the backpack, and runs away. So that's why Dana did not come to school or do her work,
Sincerely,
Dana's Mom, Layal

Peter Rosen Excuse Note

To Whom it May Concern:
Please excuse Steven from school today. His quest for world domination requires him to stay in his top secret lab. Do not be alarmed if government agents request see him. Simply give them the enclosed pieces of chocolate and send them to the address on the map (also enclosed).
If mysterious agents inquire about toast, tell them that Steven is, in fact, a member of the SSS. Then tell them that they will never win and laugh maniacally. If penguins walk into your classroom, call (000) 000-0000 and tell the automatic message that the penguin police are onto him.

Signed,

[Random Scribbles]

26 Ways To Fail

HI
Bonjour everyone! This is not Jasmine, nope, this is Molly. Sadly Jasmine could not make it to the computer tonight so I am filling in for her. H and I are the letters for today because Jasmine failed to post last time too. Seriously, what is up with all the short posts? Let's get some content in these things!
So, since h and i can make a word, I'll start with that word. Hi! Yes, hi. I know that it's kind of lame but it is the best I could think of in this short time span. Hi is a great way to greet someone when you aren't feeling like a teenager (Hey) or a proper adult (Hello). Hi is also in many words in our dictionary, including high, amphibian, child, and many more words that I don't feel like copying and pasting. Now if you want to break up the letters, I can create a few more stuff.
H
Hmm, since Jasmine did Harry Potter last time I will do hypnotism. I'm personally in to hypnotism and all that fun stuff. Few people actually believe in it or are susceptible to it, but I will use my family as an example. My mother said my youngest mother would be most susceptible to it, my second brother probably wouldn't be affected and I was a mystery. Thanks mom for giving me a straight-forward answer as usual. There are multiple ways to hypnotize a person, including clocks, voices, and this funny picture below!














Beautiful, isn't it? Of course, this is more of an optical illusion, which will be discussed below.
I
Optical illusions are fun to look at, so instead of me droning on about them, here are a few.

























So here is 26 Ways To Fail. This is Molly Annott Rinson, signing off.

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

(sigh) Where are you...? I am looking for you... Where did you go...? You left your body behind again! Please come back... The body doesn't know what to do with itself, and the brain is just plain hopeless. The notorious wooden desk has haunted the poor abandoned body with "hugs"... Please help... No one else is allowed to revive this morbid animated object... No one else can pull the strings. Your goofiness and confidence (though it may be very small) is needed! Come on! You've cheered up many other people (miraculously). You have another job! You know very darn well that you can't get fired from this never-ending job! You can change form as much as you want, but you need to do your job! You aren't going to get paid if you stray like that! Stay here, where you belong. Your body needs help... Your soul needs help... Please come back and pull the tangled strings of this lifeless puppet...

Lucky 13

In keeping with the tradition of short posts, um... Goodbye for now.

Peter Rosen

You Have a Problem

Sorry that this is really late, but I forgot about this until now.

Inform you on the new developments on Tuesday.

Aninimous

26 Ways to Fail

Sorry I failed and didn't post yesterday. >:) was supposed to cover me but it failed. Sorry.

Jasmine Crespo

Where Are You??

Ok, since no one has posted in two days *cough cough* GET POSTING *cough cough* I will post something that I was planning to write about before I quit the columns. (Long story, if you want to know more, go to my second post. Though it doesn't really tell you much either.) Let's see how this goes.
Oreos
Oreos. Oreos are the most wonderful thing in the world, well, it's probably tied with Reese's peanut butter cups, but that's a whole different story, so I will focus on Oreos. I'm sure most of you have heard that oreos are milks best friend, and while this may be true, it is true in more than one respect. Oreos go good with milk, ice cream, yogurt, and other milk products that I can not think of off the top of my head. Other non-milk products that I CAN think of are strawberries, reese's (yum) and breakfast. I know breakfast isn't really a food, but I'll keep it anyway. There is also a great skill required if you are to eat oreos the "cool" way. You must be able to twist the oreo and leave the white filling undisturbed. It took my years, but I finally mastered the art. (Look! A hyperbole!) Twisting the oreo just the right way is difficult though, but if you want to eat it normally, I guess it doesn't really matter.
So let's do some editing and see if I can find the right shade. Never tried this before.
YEAH! It is the right one. I feel like a ninja. I don't have a super secret message, besides maybe CAKE! Jasmine, you know what I'm talking about. As should you Alison, Marisa, Melissa, and anyone else that is to be at Jasmine's party. If you don't, well then you really are just an idiot. Don't mean to be mean but that's just me. LOOK! A RHYME!
So there is my ridiculously short post once again. After several months, I'm sure nobody missed it but oh well. Maybe it will motivate you people to POST! Thank you. That is all.

Taylor Tomlinson (Allys, Tally, Tanya, etc. I don't have a nicknames post so there is a few :3)

Lucky 13

It is late and I have much to tell, but no time to tell it.

Good Night.

Peter Rosen

Finally.

Ehem. Well. I just have to announce that finally, i have had my first victory, with many more to come. Madagascar is mine, and you should all fear me.
Anyone wish to guess my method? You should be trembling in your mukluks.
It was a short and fiery battle, and now i rule the island. Now, you may not think this is a great accomplishment, but it has the clues to another island...
No ninny-mouse, not that one.
>:D

Moo, Shipoopi, and Shoopuf

-From the desk of Mr. O,
Goodbye. May you be swept away suddenly in a whirlwind. I sing gleefully in your absence. I sing songs peacefully and without a care. Fly away. Don't die, but fly away. Come back when I am ready. Grow wings, jump off a cliff, it matters not, but let me live, I ask you! If only you were clever enough to put on a disguise. A disguise not to fool my eyes, but to please them. We jump around hand in hand dancing. We are happy if you leave. We may even tighten our grip of friendship. Please, we love you, secretly, deep down, somewhat, at least slightly. Wipe that tear off your face. Here's a tissue. Bon voyage, and let us party! La la laaa! We don't miss you! Goodbye! Have a safe trip! We won't actually forget you! Cheers!










To: Homework

You Have a Problem

Hello and welcome to You Have a Problem.

I want to depart from the SSS idea for a second and move onto something else.

Have you ever had a time where you have to be somewhere (I am going to use a recital as an example) and you are told to be there 10-15 minutes early. Say the recital is at 3:00 and at 2:00 your parent tells you that it is time to go. Well, the place isn't to far away, so you protest saying that it is too early, but they take you anyway. There ends up to be no traffic on the road and get there in 10 minutes. Well, you have nowhere to go and don't want to wait in the lobby of the place, so you go inside and listen to the other recitals, that you have no desire whatsoever to hear, and have to listen to those for 45 minutes. Well this hypothetical situation would be absolutely horrible for me, but of course this is hypothetical.

Well that was my little rant.

Well, that is all for...

Wait

Wait

What is this?

I have just been informed that Patrick Suanda has destroyed all toast in Sri Lanka!!!!

Wait, Sri Lanka?

Wait, the tiny thing?

Oh, Oh, well apparently a plane was flying above that was delivering a lot of toast and toast related products to China, but the plane was destroyed. I am not sure what has happened, but I am told it seemed to just disintegrate.

Well, now I think that is all...

What now?

Oh my dinner is ready.

Ok then

Goodbye

Aninimous